Aaron's Endless Journey of Encounters

Chapters

2010-07-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, people write down chapters of their lives. Once you start writing, that's when you'll be more honest and confident; but what's more important, is what inspires you. Nobody can tell the future for certain. Things change, people change, everything changes; but if you keep your writings long enough, in years to come, and when you read it, what's not going to change is what inspired you, and you'd know somehow, beneath all the ink, the papers, and the words you written down; what inspired you matters the most, because you took the time, to sit back, lighten up, and write...

Sometimes there are chapters, yet to be written. So, for as long as my heart is still guiding me, no matter how hard life may be; as choosing the right path is never easy, I believe that miracles happen.

I used to be in total denial, but now I know I found my way to something beautiful.

Love exists, because it's standing right next to me. Still, I'd be walking, we'll be walking, until something beautiful finds it's way to us.

You inspired me, and it matters; because I know I'm all yours and all my life starts now.

I'll always be in love with you, Suzie Raphael.

The New Year

2010-01-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Edith Pierce once said, “We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity, and its first chapter is New Year’s Day”.

On New Year’s Day is the time when one starts to make resolutions. It has always been one man’s habit, to break them all the way through the year, and having regrets in the end. I’ve been one of them too. So, this year, I’m might not make any resolutions, to end up starting old habits the next weekend. This would most likely to happen since I’m very good in procrastinating.

It’ll be the moment one expects and hope that things will be different and better. Keep in mind that you should also be grateful, with what you have, that brought you who you are today. And so what if things go bad, out of your expectations? You can’t run away, and hide; you won’t be able to turn back time. All you’ve got to do is stand, right where you’re at and discover your adventures; as life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain. Be creative, take the risk and accept disappointment.

And for those who have lived the last year in tragedy and disappointment, cheer up, as you’re here today, given a chance to make things right.

Everyone, I wish you have a Happy New Year 2010.

My New Year’s resolution?

“To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time” - by James Agate

About A Girl

2009-10-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Silence fills the airwaves once again as I think of you. And I start to wonder, if what I’m missing is really worth it. If what I was feeling, was true. You were very caring, and meticulous with the words you say, and the things you do.

But I have to ask myself, if you even care? Would you even care?

I can still recall the first time we met, the first time we laid eyes on each other. It weakens me whenever you gaze at me with those eyes.

But those eyes that used to look at me now are looking at someone else’s.

You said you’re not perfect? It’s not about finding a perfect person.

But by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.

I guess that it’s you that I want to hold onto.

But you’re holding on someone else.

I’m wondering, if you’re just pretending, or faked everything. If you really did, or if I really did know how it felt to be loved and to love?

But maybe I just made the whole thing out to be more than it was.

You could’ve been my hopes and dreams.

But your heart chooses me, your will chooses him.

Truly loving another, means letting go of all expectations, setting them free, letting them go. But there’s a difference between giving up and letting go. You may feel that letting go is like giving up, and quitting, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

Whatever it is, whatever it was… thank you.

No matter how hard things might be, I have a choice, and I’m moving on.

But at this moment, I’ll just have to sit back, and watch my shattered dreams, and my world disappear.

Just Maybe

2009-10-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.

How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

Being lonely, being alone, for many people...sucks; but still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

Maybe a happy ending doesn't include someone, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

And maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this; knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.

Two Simple Words

2009-05-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

I believe that there would be a moment in your life, when you’d feel everything that surrounds you is slowing down as your mind is focused on a particular matter. Soon, it occurred in your thoughts, about what’s happening around and you hear the people around you making conversations and when you close your eyes, all you could hear is people talking sluggishly as if they were whispering right into your ears. As you get deeper into your thoughts, you’ll feel as if everyone stopped moving and talking and you can feel the silence. At that moment the hasty idea of doing something and the decisions you have to make comes to mind and haunt you. To make things complicated, it’s only for you to make out if it’s right or wrong; if it’s good or bad…

It amazes me somehow that people can talk trash about you when they don’t even know you. It’s like they have fallen to have interest, to desire awareness of other people’s business. Or a form of defending themselves from destroying their reputation, and leave you behind, fighting for integrity, hoping that the truth prevails.I can’t relate with anything and I can’t tolerate why these people has that kind of mentality. It’s just too much. Well, I tried to put up with these people, but I guess they won’t learn.

Dennis Wholey once wrote; ‘Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person, is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian?’

And so I’ve made my call. I’ll be leaving…

Get Me Gone

2009-02-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, I’m back after so long from the silent treatment. I’ve been working and having these rather abnormal working hours. It has been a remarkable experience with the work I have now. I meet lots of typical and strange people, but all I can say is that they’ll never be another one, the same.

After the Chinese New Year break, everyone has left, again. My friend Benjamin was around to celebrate the festival, as he had a week off from work. This year’s celebration was a quiet one for most of us, especially during this recession period, but for those who did not get affected, that wouldn’t be a problem celebrating.

Work has been like hell; I’m not complaining, but somehow the clients really do get on your nerves. I don’t have the foggiest thoughts, about these people, like what do you really want? But it has been fun, meeting people despite the urge to disperse eccentric people out of the universe.

Life has been hectic; there will not be a time when I could consider myself resting, on a beautiful Sunday, because I might be at work, on a Sunday! What's more, I can’t even say a ‘Yes’ if a friend ask me out as I might finish work late. So, I could say, I’ve been minimizing time to mingle around with friends.

Well, I guess that’s how life is… like hell!

Wish I could take a day off, and get out of this place while I have the time.

Seriously… I need this!

Of Confusion & Misery

2009-01-05T05:01:00.000-08:00

I’d have to agree with the quote, “The cruelest lies are often told in silence”; especially when you’re blinded by love that was non existent. I’m frustrated because all I wanted was the same respect I gave. For a person like you, I’d never know you would do such a thing. I always thought I’d look up to you, someone respectable and decent.

I tried to put all these thoughts aside; still I couldn’t believe if what’s happening around is true, because I believed in you. Again, I was blinded by a non existent love…

Abraham Lincoln once wrote, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”

I don't know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all…

An Inspirational Moment

2008-12-31T11:40:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the Year 2009. It’s a beginning of another journey that will bring you to another chapter of life; to advance towards maturity, and take last year as an example; a lesson learnt for do’s and don’ts.

It was a touching moment, that some person I knew back 2 years ago, came up to me and said, ‘You’re a good guy, you tend to help people, you patch things up between me and my wife, but when you’re in trouble, it’s as if you don’t know who to look up for to talk to…’ . And the both of them started to recall what happened and how things were way before I got them back together.

I was speechless, in fact, what he had said was true.

I guess it’s just who I am; keeping my troubles and tribulations I encounter to myself. Just so people would think I’m okay when I’m not, and to keep them from thinking about me and sympathizing at the same time.

Just way back then, I had someone to talk to and share. Didn’t expect it was hard to have a mutual understanding when we ourselves had problems, and it ended just like that. Not to mourn about the past, I’m just recalling those good moments in my life.

Then again, I hope this year would be a better one, not only for me, but my friends and family too.

P/s: JC; Thanks for the inspirational words, it just made me to step forward and to look at the bright side of the world. God Bless!

One More Night

2008-12-30T09:13:00.000-08:00

We’re in the midst of the end of Year 2008; it was an immense experience to have gone through this year, but it builds your will to move ahead, and not grieve over the past but to look forward for the future.

As Hal Borland once wrote; Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

We can’t expect, or predict, but there’s always hope…

Happy New Year 2009!

A Life Less Ordinary

2008-12-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

There are thoughts, that I’m having in my mind. I can’t even think of the right word to express how I really feel. It’s one of those days when I really need my friends by my side, but there were not. Well, I can’t expect everyone would stand-by for you, and be right here when you need them the most.

I had to deal with everything alone instead…

I can’t comprehend, why life is so unfair? You’re living in a beautiful world, with magnificent views like the sunset, the stars in the evening sky, but in reality, everything you’ve been thru was a lie.

It was fake

What is this all about?

Obscure Thoughts

2008-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a while since we really talk and shared. Apart from having a mutual understanding, you’ve been one of the people who really listen when I talk. Thanks for listening; it really helps to actually talk about my tribulations and dilemma.

It’s really touching somehow, when you listen to someone, and it actually makes you depressing and end up deep in agony, especially someone whom you really care about. Yet at times you don’t know how to respond, because you might end up saying things that will actually upset them rather than making them feel any better.

I hope you’ll be strong, as I’m always around to support you like you’ve supported me all this while.

You’ll never know, a smile put up on your face on any other day, would please your friends and the people around you. Apart from you being strong, it sends me a message that you’re feeling heavenly blissful, and it’ll eventually make my day.

Like watching a rainbow in the sky; it's as spectacular as you are!

Knowing Me, Knowing You

2008-12-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

I presume it’s hard to find someone who understands you well enough to share what or how you feel; whether you’re being happy or down. For even your very own best friend, wouldn’t be able to reflect how and what is that you’re feeling. It is already difficult to express, and to say ‘Yes, I understand…’ is easier to be said than to really try and understand someone.

But I know someone that I will treasure every moment we talk…

I was looking forward to see a friend last weekend. We’ve been keeping in touch on MSN ever since she went abroad to study, and to know that she’s back for the holiday break excites me. She’s one of my friends that I love to talk to, and to share what I’m going thru in my everyday life. She listens and don’t jump unto conclusions. That’s what matters most. Even if she’s not a good advisor, I don’t mind that as long as she listens. Thankfully she’s a very good advisor and even when you’re down, she could really make you feel great and you’ll be saying ‘It’s not the end of the world, why should I torture my mind now?’ And so, she was dancing with her group of friends on the dance floor. Yet she still didn’t notice I was just around the corner. I felt the urge to just shout and like ‘OMG!!!!!’, but that’ll be so embarrassing.

I’m truly excited that Inessa is back! And yes, hopefully we’d get to catch up again pretty soon and I’d feed her all the ‘Kon Lau Mien’ she’s been missing…

Of Fate, Destiny, & Pure Luck

2008-11-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder about fate, destiny, or luck?

Does it exist? Is there such thing as destiny?

Do people live through their destined lives?

I guess, at this moment, different people would have different prospect about the existence of their destiny. The certainty or inevitability of fate and destiny depends on each individual. Some say its superstition because there’s no evidence for the irrevocability of destiny.

Have you ever come across in life, maybe you, or the people around you, start to talk about or maybe plan something, ahead in time to come? When things go right, it’ll be probably because it was planned accurately. But when you fail, maybe because of a bad planning, obviously it’s because of your own mistake, and for those people who can’t accept defeat, and accept their own mistakes, tend to turn around the bush, and take the concept of fate and take it as bad luck, or Karma.

Well, this would be a very complex issue, but as for me, whatever happens, we should be persistent in facing what’s ahead of us. You yourself are in charge of your actions, despite being warned or listening to people’s advice. For it to be a failure or success, I myself couldn’t tell. The choice is yours, and you’re in charge.

As Franklin Roosevelt once wrote; "Men are not prisoners of Fate, but only prisoners of their own minds."

Remorse of the Past

2008-11-13T05:02:00.000-08:00

There comes a time in our lives when you keep thinking about what went before this very moment. It might be seconds, days, months, or years ago. Underneath this reminisce, feeling angry and depress with regrets wouldn’t do you any better.

If you could go back time, and change things, will it make you happy?

Will things change today? Will it make your life a better one?

Or things changed for the worse…

Things happen; whether you’re ready or not.

Things happen; whether you like it or not.

For a change, why not recall the significant times you’ve had. Set aside all the cruelty and hatred feelings you’ve encountered and kept.

Open up your heart and mind…

You’ll never know, tomorrow just might be the best day of your life.

Of Echoes & Silence

2008-11-11T05:17:00.000-08:00

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote, “Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”

It’s easy to be said than done, but no matter how tough it would be, you have the choice. The choice to stumble and fall, and succumb your way into the darkness… Or be awakened and find the courage to face the darkness, and step outside.

It has always been a question in my thoughts; is it a passion for people to ruin your everyday life. There will always be something or someone. Do they find happiness? The more devastated you are, the more miserable you get, the more they’re enjoying every little bit of it.

It’s always an unexpected moment, when out of the blue you look back into your past being afraid and alone. And it got you thinking, was it right or wrong? Was it truth or lies? Was it the things you did or things you didn’t do? And slowly, you’re falling apart, weakened, and losing yourself into the darkness…

I have a friend, Inessa, as she once said, “It's pointless thinking ‘What if?’ and ‘What could have been?’ Because the most important thing is that it happened and the past shouldn't affect your present anymore than it already has”

You and I have a choice… What’s yours?

Believe me, life is worth living!

Bits & Pieces

2008-11-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

Have you ever question about the issues that are happening around you?

Or perhaps, people you’ve miss?

And maybe you’ve recalled just that very special moment. Just that one moment, which could’ve and maybe by now, changed your life, and you’ll never be the same again…

It’s depressing when certain people around you don’t understand; nevertheless just nod their heads to convince you that they pay attention and comprehend to what you’re trying to express. Eventually, they’ll get the wrong impression or ideas, and end up thinking you’re just being problematical.

Things changed when she left. I went thru all these years with things I couldn’t share, I couldn’t express, because there wasn’t any straightforward opinion or advice you could ever get. There wasn’t a time that I stopped thinking about her. Everywhere I go, everything I do reminds me of her. But I keep telling myself, to let go. Eventually I got back on track and accept the fact that she had left. There wasn’t anything I could do, except to move on. I gave up on relationships, I gave up on love, and I tried to stay away from things that could get you into one. I guess that’s the phase of life everyone wouldn’t want to go thru. Where do I go from here? I was ready to quit…

Till one fine day, I met a certain someone. She touched my soul and inspired me with her own unique ways. She spoke the truth and somehow lit some sparks, and she made me build my faith in love. Little by little, she showed me that there is still hope, to believe in love.

I wish you could understand how much I appreciate your patience and understanding, your ability to be friendly without being scared, and the ability to let go without forgetting. All my memories with you have been sweet. We may have some few flirtatious weeks, but mind you, when they ended, I could feel this was a beginning of a beautiful friendship. Someone like you, I have confidence in placing my trust, likewise you can trust me…

A Sudden Enthusiasm

2008-08-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

This would be my very first post, so… I don’t know where to start; however I’d like to thank my fellow friends who pushed me to start my Blog. I had been thinking about setting up my Blog for quite sometime already, and for a damn good procrastinator, yes, I deliberately didn’t catch the time to do so. I presume that this is a good start although everything here seems to be new and dull and thus I look forward to finish the layout pretty soon.